Joy, happiness and pleasure are three key emotions that we love as humans. Feeling enjoyment, smiling, laughing, having fun, and creating pleasurable experiences rate high in our lives. These aren’t just nice-to-haves – they’re fundamental to our wellbeing and success. Yet paradoxically, many of us find ourselves unconsciously limiting enjoyment in our lives.
This pattern of limiting enjoyment often becomes glaringly apparent when we step into the world of entrepreneurship, where self-awareness, exploration, and understanding are essential for success and high performance. As entrepreneurs and high achievers, we’re constantly pushing boundaries and seeking growth – so why would we ever put limits on our own joy?
Understanding The Pattern Of Limiting Enjoyment
The concept of limiting enjoyment might seem counterintuitive at first. After all, who wouldn’t want more happiness and pleasure in their life? But this self-imposed restriction is more common than you might think, and it manifests in countless subtle ways: downplaying achievements, feeling guilty about success, or creating problems just when everything seems to be going well.
Upper Limiting: The Hidden Barrier
Gay Hendricks, in his transformative book The Big Leap, introduces a powerful concept that explains this phenomenon. He describes what he calls “upper limiting” – an unconscious ceiling we place on our own happiness and success. According to Hendricks, ‘when you reach a certain level of happiness or success, that is your upper limit that you’ve unconsciously set for yourself. You find a way to deflate and bring yourself back down.’ He describes this as your ‘inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy.’
This insight is revolutionary for understanding why we keep limiting enjoyment in our lives. Think about it – have you ever:
- Picked a fight with your partner right after receiving great news?
- Gotten sick just before a major opportunity?
- Found yourself sabotaging success just as things were going well?
- Dismissed compliments or downplayed your achievements?
These are all classic signs of upper limiting and limiting enjoyment. The pattern is particularly prevalent among high achievers who may have internalised messages about not getting “too big for their boots” or staying “humble.”
The Safety Trap
For many, limiting enjoyment feels safer than fully embracing success and happiness. There’s a comfort in staying within familiar bounds, even if those bounds are holding us back. This safety trap often stems from deep-seated limiting beliefs about worthiness and deserving. We might tell ourselves:
- “If I get too happy, something bad will happen”
- “Success isn’t sustainable, so why get too excited?”
- “I don’t deserve to feel this good”
- “People won’t like me if I’m too successful”
These beliefs create an invisible cage, limiting enjoyment and keeping us trapped in a cycle of self-imposed restrictions.
Breaking Free From Limiting Enjoyment
The first step to breaking free is awareness. Start noticing when and how you might be limiting enjoyment in your life. Pay attention to those moments when you find yourself pulling back from joy or success. What triggers these reactions? What stories are you telling yourself?
Now, imagine for a moment, if things went as well as they possibly could, what would happen next? What would you be able to do, to be, to achieve? This isn’t just idle daydreaming – it’s a powerful exercise in expanding your capacity for enjoyment and success.
Creating Sustainable Change
The key to sustainable change lies in systematic approach to addressing these patterns of limiting enjoyment. This might include:
- Regular check-ins to identify and challenge limiting beliefs
- Creating accountability structures to support growth
- Developing new habits that support expanded enjoyment
- Building a supportive environment that encourages success
Imagine setting up accountability checkpoints to review your limits, expand them, and smash through them all in a safe, contained program. Where you could understand these patterns like never before and systematically work to overcome them.
The Transformation Journey
Think about where you could be six months from now if you stopped limiting enjoyment in your life. How would it feel to fully embrace success without self-sabotage? What opportunities would you say yes to? What experiences would you allow yourself to fully embody and love?
The journey to stop limiting enjoyment isn’t always easy, but it’s incredibly rewarding. It’s about giving yourself permission to experience all the joy, success, and fulfillment that life has to offer. It’s about recognizing that you deserve to feel good, to succeed, to thrive.
So take that first step today. Start noticing where you might be limiting enjoyment in your life. Challenge those old patterns. Embrace the possibility of more – more success, more joy, more fulfillment. Because life is too short to keep limiting your own enjoyment.
Remember: You deserve all the success and happiness that comes your way. It’s time to raise that upper limit and let yourself soar.
Charlotte Carter is a Mindset and Energetics Mentor and the founder and CEO of I Dare To Leap. She hosts the global The Energy Of Success podcast and has written for many publications including Grazia, Hello!, The Daily Telegraph, Metro and Marie Claire.
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